STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
