All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The power of my boobs compel you
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
