I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
