Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
