It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
