You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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