i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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