You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
