Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize