for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You pole danced in your parka.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
