but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
