wakey wakey hands off snakey
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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