I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
