did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize