Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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