I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
