Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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