4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
