He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
