i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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