i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
