I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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