I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize