Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
