reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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