You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
