This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
