I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
