her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
