jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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