I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I will pee on everything he values.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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