There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
