i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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