Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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