are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
