I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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