Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
