why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
