I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
