brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what day is it and did you see me today?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
