shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
