508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
