I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
