My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
