worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
