mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
