dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
