she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
