well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
