do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
