She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
