He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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