Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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