4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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