Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Are we still banned from the library?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize