bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize