I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize