Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
