Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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