He kissed a someone with a penis
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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