You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
birth control should be required to get into college
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
