i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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