the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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