If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
