You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
