What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
