It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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