Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
