Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
