this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
