at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
