i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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