She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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