He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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