Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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