you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
